Blended Families

My latest Real Oilfield Wives post is about celebrating holidays as a blended family. I describe how my family helped us celebrate an early Thanksgiving since JR will be on the rig next week. I know that a lot of families in the oilfield- in any field- eventually deal with divorce, re-marriage, step-children, etc. In an ideal world, divorce wouldn’t happen and families would stay hole. In a perfect world, domestic violence, abuse, infidelity (you get the idea), would never happen. I don’t have stats on how blended families get along, but I’ve personally been witness to some sticky and uncomfortable situations (not involving my own family). 

It is my belief that our children’s relationships can mirror our own if we are not careful. If you are divorced, I urge you to try to contain your bad thoughts and keep wayward comments away from the ears of your children. You don’t have to like your (or your current spouse’s) ex, but you do have a responsibility to your children. Divorce is already hard enough for a child to endure, don’t add more negativity to the mix. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Leave a comment below or send me a tweet

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2 thoughts on “Blended Families

  1. I want to be careful how I word my comment because I don’t want to sound negative or judgemental. I am from a family that didn’t experience divorce directly but both my parents had been married before and both had children. I grew up with elder siblings that did not live with us but were adults having families of their own and came over every weekend. So I guess in a way I was from a blended family. I now have a unique blended family of my own. I was a single mom for about 10 years until my male partner and I seriously committed and had a baby of our own. My partner too already had a son and he had been in a marriage that didn’t work out. We are not married by choice and my son and our daughter all live in our home and his son lives with his mother, but we see him often.

    Now with that said I do feel that maturity is the key to all adult behavior. We never know what our children are going to do in their futures. I beleive that it’s not so much about what the parent’s relationship status is that means that is what a child will grow up to do. Many times children of divorced families end up making sure they do not have that happen in their adult relationships, thus being the oposite of your believed mirroring of their parents relationship.

    It’s hard to judge or state what it’s like to have a blended family if you have never been part of one. I have personal expereince from a blended family and I stand on the fact that what it might be like for me is not what it is like for someone else. I’ve learned that keying in to my maturity is far more productive with my interactions with my ex but I am by no means perfect, their are many variables that may bring my act of negativety with my ext. I value my current relationship and most times I am focused on having what I call mature interactions but I do have times that I’m just not that focused.

    Overall I wanted to say that the post sounded a bit judgemental and it’s a touchy subject already. I’ve learned that most people are good hearted at the core and their interaction in their relationships is lack of knowledge of how to express what they need and want. Relationships are layered and we have the added challenge in this throw away country.

    • Thank you for your input. I’m sorry if you feel it is judgemental but I am the child of a blended family and my post is bases on MY experiences and those of my family and friends who are products of and/or have their own blended families. No family is one size fits all. I know this.

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